How do we create sacred intimacy in our lives? Ritual. Think about romance, it is imbued with rituals for entering intimate space – we know what the drills are. So why not for sacred intimacy?
Strange isn’t it that we make space for teen-age boys to experiment at having a wank together, but not for more mature relationships that are not romantic yet have deep erotic connections. Why is this? If you ask me, I think this is where many of the world’s problems with aggression stem from. OK, so you didn’t ask, and I need to get back on track with this idea of ritual and sacred intimacy.
For something as powerful as sacred intimacy, we need a way to delineate where it exists and when we enter into it. Cathedrals played a similar function in western life for centuries. During the gothic period, the soaring vaulted spaces closed in by stained glass windows clearly sent a message that all who entered were now in the presence of the divine. In such spaces, people changed because they experienced a different intentionality – they were in the presence of something other. The use of Latin, chanting, and incense further enhanced and reinforced this sense of otherworldliness. Sure, these things were of our own creation, but they worked.
We have power to create space for sacred intimacy. I can do without the vaulted ceilings and Latin, but incense, candles, and music are the kinds of little gestures that give me the sense of entering into a special place for they are reminders of intentionality and the journey I am about to undertake. Because our bodies are the vessels through which we enter sacred intimacy, a good way to begin is with stripping each other. A jump into the shower with your partner to wash away the world is like a baptism – plus, it’ll make you smell good for the intimate exchange that is to follow. As you get into this space, breathe together to sync the flow of erotic energy through your body and with your partner. Massaging each other is a healing experience, a laying on of hands that are full of love and good intentions. And yes, if your journey takes you there you are free to caress the most intimate parts and have a good squirt if that is where the dance takes you. After all, these bits are the fountain head of our erotic energy and need as much caressing as any other part of our bodies. It’s troubling to me that society has deemed them to be the naughty bits. Though, somehow society has found a way to redeem them through marriage – a transformation story that I have never understood! For me, they are the holy bits precisely because they have the most direct and strongest connection with eros. Afterwards, as you reawaken to the world, take your partner into the shower again to bring the journey full circle. Or, simply lie together as your senses make the transition.
The beauty of sacred intimacy is that it is a personal journey in which we are free to define our own rituals that connect us with the dance of eros. The important thing is to discover whatever gestures connect you with this magic life force. As you and your partner get into the dance, you will find your way. Enjoy the journey.