The Joy Body

I’m not sure where I first heard the term joy body or even if it has a specific meaning, but it clicks with how I look at the world. Over this holiday season having some free time on my hands, I’ve been wondering about it, the joy body that is. As we come to the end of one year and prepare for a new one, I’ve found myself wondering if there comes a time in our lives when our bodies are so aged and gone, or riddled with problems, that we can no longer feel physical joy and ecstasy? Do we lose touch with that wonderful mystical dance that permeates everything, the dance of eros? Or, do we enter it in a way that is beyond the physical? The meta-physical?

For now, I am happy to put those musings off to the side since I count myself among the fortunate at being very much in my body and able to experience the physical ecstasies of eros. Nevertheless, these thoughts make me appreciate that there is more to eros and joy than simply physical ecstasy – that eros is a state that can be experienced through so many ways from a celibate mystical connection to a drug induced trip. Still, my preference is for the beauty of touch, the wonder that is two people entwining their bodies to bring pleasure to each other. Given that there are so many ways to experience eros, it must be a natural state for us to be in – that the joy body is as natural and essential to us as is oxygen.

As I have written elsewhere in these pages, there is a sacred quality to touch; that Sacred Intimacy is about aligning touch and intentionality; and that it is a healing experience  producing a sense of wholeness. It’s a radical idea, an idea that does not want to be contained by social and religious regulations constricting sexual/physical connections between people. Sacred Intimacy is powerful precisely because it is so universal and about being made whole through touch at a deeply intimate level. At its core, SI is about the opening of love from one person to another, and that is the most powerful force there is.

Our bodies have truly amazing powers and engaging in a Sacred Intimate relationship with another is among the most primal of experiences we can have. We strip away those things that separate us, our clothes, and open our entire bodies for connecting. What begins as sweet gentle brushings, then grows more intense, bodies merging with each other, lips connecting, excitement building to a bittersweet eruption ringed in tinges of pain and ecstasy, then bliss, maybe even sleep. With each such experience, there is a subtle but deep shift in us. Something has changed, we reach a different state which I have likened to the Shavasana at the end of a yoga session.

Through each SI experience, we have been made a little bit more whole. Words cannot describe such things. We cannot comprehend what has happened, it’s too primal for that – but, we can sense it. Yet, because these experiences are so primal, they are a necessary part of our lives as spiritual and sensate beings, and why the feelings of healing and wholeness are an integral part of them. This is the joy body, the body we should pay more attention to and nurture with greater care. As we head into a new year, what better resolution can we have than to focus on these things that heal us and make us more whole.

Man Milk

Man milk, what a powerful substance it is – and what joys and troubles it has caused. I doubt there is a man alive who has not been affected in one way or another by it. Though I don’t know for certain, I’ll wager that even the most hetero of men fantasize about at least seeing another man squirt, maybe even getting in a touch or two. Now that’s what I call power – hence the reason so many taboos have been erected, all puns intended, around it.

Back in the halcyon days before political correctness crept in, I had a professor of English literature whose favorite phrase was that great authors wrote with their cocks, and the juicer the cock the more profound the writing. Cool, no wonder all we freshmen boys took his class! We knew he was onto something – the power of the cock. Is it any wonder then that all societies have evolved various kinds of control mechanisms to regulate our behavior? Don’t get me wrong, I am not against the need for social order and understand why such things as marriage have evolved. But, I am troubled by the pain and suffering that happens when these models are too strict.

What’s a boy to do? Hetero or homo, or somewhere in between, I say follow your body for it has far more wisdom than any of our conscious minds can grasp. Going back to some of my earlier posts, I think it’s about getting in sync with the rhythm of the universe, the dance of eros. Our brains are full of social and religious constructs that can get us all tied up – and not in a good way! In meditation when the mind is overly active, we come back to the breath. It’s no different in body work. In my SI practice, there have been guys whose bodies yearned for sensual touch, yet after orgasm felt such remorse and even shame. Sadly, that was the chatter of religious and social narratives taking over as they spewed shame on something so completely natural and wonderful.

In my way of thinking, there is no more profoundly beautiful moment than the one in which two men are clinging to each other in ecstatic spasms as their milky fluids spurt out. Such moments are ones of joy, culmination, release, ecstasy, and union. In them, we experience some kind of essential truth about the oneness of being and connectedness. Don’t waste an orgasm by letting negativity flow in, take a lesson from meditation and trust your body and return to it in all its joy and wisdom. In SI, however, we have a much richer tool (oops, it’s true) to return to than simply the breath – that of our entire pulsating bodies. Where breath is but a solo instrument, our bodies are an entire orchestra playing away as the energy released in orgasm radiates through every cell in our beings. On top of that, we have the bonus of having an SI partner next to us who is also feeling the same rush of energy. This is when our bodies are probably at their keenest level of awareness. Luxuriate in it!! Take it all in, in all of its glisteningly alive gooeyness. Revel in the magical substance that is man milk. Enjoy it through all of your senses, it’s taste, feel, and smell as well as through the sight and sounds of you and your partner in the throes of ecstasy.