Whenever I read something about how little of our brain capacity we actually use, I wonder the same about our physical senses. It seems to me that most of the time they are in sleep mode waiting for external stimuli to kick start them into motion. How often do we really engage all of our senses to their fullest? In my experience, not often.
Nothing engages us more completely than full-on erotic body work – or as I like to think of it, Sacred Intimacy. Doing this well takes commitment, trust, intentionality, and sensitivity. It also takes time. All too often, we get so focused on our cocks and the anticipation of orgasm that we lose sight of the sheer pleasure of getting lost in sensuality. Thus the need for time. It’s what we need in order to get out of our thinking bodies so that our physical senses can take over to guide us – even if this feels like a trip full of detours. Remember, it’s about the journey!
As noted in some past posts, rituals are an important component of an SI relationship. They can help calm our minds as we transition out of the thinking world. Rituals need not be hollow formulas. At their best, they provide us with some general outlines that create doorways through which we step from one kind of space to another. For example, I like to start with my partner and me being fully clothed looking into each other’s eyes. Then, with outstretched arms we touch each other’s chests as we begin to breathe in unison. This simple gesture signals that we have stepped out of normal space and have entered into intimate space. From that point on, we are each on our own journeys that ebb and flow as we find points to be in sync with each other.
In synching our breathing, our body motions begin to take over. We strip each other as we bring to life all of our senses through touch, taste, and smell all the while gazing at and listening to each other’s body. Little by little, we build on these opening motions improvising our way through the dance taking turns to massage each other. Each time the experience is unique because the variations in sensual interactions, rhythm, and choreography are infinite. In our dance, we take turns being active or passive, slowly building on the waves of pleasure that we are giving to each other.
There should be no rush to the end, we spend so much of our lives in the ho-hum world that we should take all the time we can to revel in the sacred space of sensual arousal. Follow your senses as they pulse wave after wave of erotic pleasure throughout your body. Let it build towards its eventual conclusion, but don’t rush things, let the waves ebb as you direct this energy throughout your body. When the final massive wave begins to crest, ride it and bring your partner into it as your bodies release all that energy in a final triumphal burst. But, don’t cut the pleasure short there. Breathe with your partner as you feel the energy continue rippling through your bodies. Let yourselves experience one of the most profound wonders of the universe, oneness with yourself and with another. If I were giving the sermon on the mount, this is the kind of brotherly love I would advocate for!