Skin, our largest organ, has its own vocabulary, and it is activated through touch. Although fifty shades is a catchy title, touch is more like a rainbow with endless nuances. Credit for the title goes to my buddy Joe, who suggested it in a discussion we were having on touch, intimacy, and intentionality.
All too many of us live in societies in which touch is highly regulated: hand shakes, a pat on the shoulder, a hug. They are sanctioned if you are clothed, but more intimate touch is reserved for romantic relationships or marriage. Sadly, intimate man on man touch has been condemned. Though touch of a more violent nature, e.g., football or other contact sports has tended to be sanctioned. Is it little wonder that when given permission to enter into intimate touch our temptation is to speed through to climax without fully enjoying the erotic wonders of full-body contact?
It’s sad because we are missing out on the wondrous states of consciousness that touch can take us into. When we enter touch consciousness, we step outside our egos as we go into a non-verbal, non-rational space. It’s a space that has its own language, its own vocabulary. Before going into it, I like to talk with the person I am about to share the experience with so that we can articulate our intentions. Intimacy is so nuanced that clarifying intentions helps to free us up. Transitioning from our egocentric verbal world into the realm of touch, we begin fully clothed. Embracing narrows the distance between us, and as touch takes over our clothes are shed as we follow its vocabulary.
There are many kinds of energy and a sexual romantic energy feels quite different from the erotic touch of Sacred Intimacy. On the exterior, both may result in orgasm, but the feelings associated with each are quite different. It is wrong for us to always associate erotic intimacy with romance – wrong because each has a different intentionality. My Sacred Intimacy practice often involves orgasm, yet I am not in love romantically with any of the people I engage with as SIs – yes, I love them for the beautiful guys they are, but that is not romance. That’s a different kind of energy, and it is one I have for the guy I love romantically.
Becoming aware of the shades of touch and the nuances they have should help us open ourselves to exploring intimate touch and creating positive contexts for enjoying the wonders of skin. Overcoming taboos such as man on man intimacy has been significant, and now the work we all have is to deepen our experiences of intimacy for which skin is the portal.