Cum On

I am willing to bet that at times in our distant past cum was treated not as an object of embarrassment or shame but of worship. After all, it is the stuff of vitality and creation, and we feel this with every orgasm. Yet for way too much of human history, the idea of not using cum for procreation has been condemned. Well, the time for waking up the planet is long overdue, and with over 7 billion of us mother earth is showing signs of collapse.

Evolutionary anthropologists have noted societies in which homosexual relationships were crucial factors in building social cohesion. Who knows, maybe even in Cro-Magnon times people worshipped cum as a sacred gift from the gods. For me, everything about sharing orgasm has the feel of a sacred rite – from building up feelings of excitement and pleasure to the magical release when every atom in our bodies is tingling with life.

Isn’t it interesting that we so often use the word release to describe an orgasm. For the most part, release is used in the sense of letting go, or of relieving tension. There is, however, another aspect to it which has to do with opening ourselves to energy stored deep within our bodies – an energy that needs to be cultivated and brought to the surface. One of the wonders of orgasm is not just the build up and spewing of cum but of the ripple effect as the energy continues to flow through every cell of our bodies. If this isn’t what creation is about, then I have no idea what is.

As I noted in my pervious post, The Moment After, all too often we stop short of truly enjoying the full effects of orgasm, the ripple effects. Just when we are ripe to reap these rewards, shame and guilt jump in. But, we don’t have to let them in the door, I don’t mind kicking unwelcome guests out of the house. There’s enough negative energy around without the vampires of negativity. Cum has life enhancing powers that should be enjoyed by all of our senses, with the exception of getting squirted in the eyes! Instead of a quick run to the shower, next time linger a bit with your buddy, take in the euphoria of erotic energy. Let it enliven your bodies. Let the sight, taste, smell, and feel of cum, along with the sounds of your bodies relishing it stay with you. These are sacred times that we should be giving to the ones we want to experience them with. If the fear mongers try to barge in, close the door for they have no place in this space.


The Moment After

Once upon a time, the moment following an orgasm was a time for guilt and shame, but now we have evolved beyond such negative feelings. Yes, it sounds like the start of a fairy tale, and so often it is. Though I pat myself on the back saying that I have moved on in my life, such feelings still rear their ugly heads at times.

Shame can be subtle. Think of how often someone wants to wash off just after an orgasm, sending a message that there is something dirty or shameful about cum. What is even more frustrating about this is that such actions kill the beauty of the moment. They stop short the warm sensations flowing throughout the body that are the fruition of touch and orgasm.

Small steps can have a big impact on something as pervasive as shame. Take your time, linger for a while after orgasm while embracing your partner and loving the wetness of it all. This is a time to celebrate the gift of our inner selves, our man milk, that we have just given to each other. One of the guys with whom I have a Sacred Intimate relationship loves to work our cum into our skin like a body lotion. Others enjoy ingesting it, or as the song goes, “yummy yummy yummy I got love in my tummy”. Who knows, maybe the Ohio Express had fellatio in mind when they recorded this song – though I doubt it.

Regardless, love it is whether in or on your tummy, and it is a love that can be smeared, eaten, or whatever. Sharing our bodies and entering into each others fantasies are acts of love. There is nothing shameful about love, even when it goes over the edge of wetness. When I think about the shame mongers trying to control pleasure in our lives, I just chuckle and walk in the other direction.

The world is an imperfect place, and a lot of the work we have to do in our erotic lives is in reclaiming the essential goodness of the erotic along with our right to it. For the most part, this is a path that has to do with overcoming taboos. The kind of eros that makes sense to me is the kind that thrives through acts of loving kindness. In my mind, it does not matter if such gestures are those found in romantic relationships, in body work, fetishes, or whatever other platforms people use to cultivate their erotic lives.  Acts of love do not need to be characterized by time or depth of romance, they simply are. They exist in the gestures and intentions we show towards the other person. They are there to give us pleasure and to make the world a better place. Dig in!!