Hot Lips

For those of us old enough to remember MASH, one of the most memorable characters was Hot Lips Houlihan, whose sensuous lips earned her a level of immortality. With an eye to the intrepid erotic voyagers on board the SS Raging Queen (see  Gay Traveler, 8 February 2015) and a tip of the hat to Hot Lips, I thought I would follow my explorations of the Mangina and the Vathighna with a stop at yet another of the body’s great sensual ports of call, the lips.

So strong is their erotic power that they have been tightly regulated through the use of barriers, such as veils, and limitations on who has access. It’s an interesting cultural artifact that lips as sensual objects have largely been associated with women. But what about us poor lads, are our lips supposed to be asexual? One look at Brando says “No”!

Kissing brings up yet another set of cultural and religious obstacles. Clearly, evolution has developed lips for sensual pleasure. Yet, we try to deny nature through attempts to limit kissing to the confines of a romantic relationship, and certainly not between men. One interesting exception is that the image of two women kissing is considered to be a turn on for men while that of two men kissing is more than most people can bear. I have even been in sexual situations with gay, bi, and straight men for whom kissing was off limits!

Clearly something has gone terribly wrong here. How can guys who readily plunge into fellatio not kiss? Though I never have asked why, I have always had the feeling that this had to do with the strength of the tabu against men kissing each other being too powerful for them to overcome.

Lips are meant for deeply sensual contact. I have yet to massage a guy who did not welcome even the most basic of connections with his lips, my fingers gently rubbing them. In bodywork or love making, we revel in exploring our partner’s body with our lips taking in all the sensations as they make their way through the various body textures. Likewise, the enjoyment of feeling your partner’s lips caressing your body is just as thrilling.

Let your lips be your guide, they know where they want to go. They love to rub and to be rubbed. They love to kiss and to be kissed. This does not have to be the stuff of romance, if you want that read a Harlequin novel. What I am talking about is erotic pleasure and being able to fully enjoy it. One of the tasks that we men face is pushing back the tabu that paints us as being less than masculine when we are kissing or exploring each others’ bodies with our lips. There is no reason why we should not enjoy the pleasures that our lips bring us. None is more stimulating and manly than caressing your buddy’s lips with yours. Take your time, remain in contact with him as both of you share in the sheer pleasure of joining your bodies and full on kissing.

4 thoughts on “Hot Lips

  1. Whenever I read one of your posts I feel better about my body.

    To me lips are a part of our body that our turned inside out. So when our lips touch, our insides touch. It doesn’t get much more intimate than that. I’ve had (sex) dates with guys that didn’t want to kiss. I think that was because kissing is associated with intimacy more than anal or oral sex is.
    To me sex without lip action is like a pizza without cheese (sorry, just read a post about pizza, so I was primed;))

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m really glad to hear that my posts have such a positive effect. There is so much work to be done to reclaim our right to a full, healthy, and happy connection to our erotic lives. I love following your posts, the issues you raise, and the insights you provide. It’s all good.

      Thank you for raising the point about intimacy, it is a very important one, and one with a lot of fear attached to it. Hopefully we are evolving to see that it is possible for people to share in their sexual lives that are fully erotic and with loving kindness as well. This is intimacy cheese and all – love the analogy!


  2. I can add to this post what I have on my atraf (Israeli grindr) profile:

    “If you are willing to spend hours kissing my hole but refuse to kiss my lips, then don’t waste your time, my hole only opens when my lips are being kissed first”

    You’d be surprised how many guys are out there, that kissing is a deal breaker for them


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