Sex and Fabric

An exhibit at Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts examines clothing and new materials that interact and respond to the environment. As I was wandering through #Techstyle earlier today, I was reminded of just how potent an element of eroticism fabric can be. And, it is something that I have not written about before. A lot of my focus in these posts has been on the beauty of nudity, and of skin to skin contact. All of which is good, but the exhibit made me think about the incredibly erotic effects that other textures have on our bodies.

I like to think of connecting erotically with other men as journeys we take together. Each time, the journey is unique, even for guys with whom I have had many such travels. Usually our journeys begin being clothed, and as we move into touch space our bodies initially connect through the clothing. The more we intertwine, hands roam around backs, chests, thighs, and butts building erotic energy. We often nibble at nipples through shirts or caress growing erections through pants before stripping each other so that we can complete the journey naked.

But what if nudity is not the end of this story? There are times when bringing different fabrics and textures into play enhances erotic possibilities. For the kinds of stimulation that a light feathery touch brings, it’s hard to beat slowly running a feather over a body – multiply the effect a hundredfold with a boa! As much as I love the touch of another man’s hand on my cock, put some silk in between and I’m in heaven. Though, it doesn’t work so well with a mouth where the dewey sensuousness of lips have enough glide power all on their own.

We tend to forget that skin is a fabric too, and the most sensitive and interesting one there is. It’s supercharged with life in ways that artificial fabrics are not. Yet, there are qualities in these other fabrics that can so erotically stimulate our skin as to bring us to heights of orgasmic wonder. Just as each of us reacts differently to various kinds of skin textures, so too do different fabrics have various erotic effects on us. One man’s feather may be another’s leather chaps.

It’s funny how erotic play with fabric is one of those areas that has something like a taboo around it. We tend to associate cloth as a way to hide our bodies, hide our shame in the words of some. Think about those times and societies when a sheet with a strategically placed hole in it was expected to be a barrier between husband and wife. Wow!! What a waste of perfectly good material and the fun times that could have been had playing with it.

Even after an orgasm, cloth can be useful for more than a quick mop up!! Have a nicely warmed full-length towel on hand. After you and your partner begin to emerge from the post orgasmic glow, one of you will have to make the ultimate sacrifice of being the active one. Have your partner lie flat on his back, place the snuggly warm towel over him and ever so slowly and lightly pull it down his body until the last bit of towel flows over his toes. When I am the passive partner, this is one of the most exquisitely sensual experiences I can possibly have. Trust me, you will never look at a towel the same way again!!

The Body Erotic

Touch is the language of intimacy, it speaks loudest and clearest when we step outside of the chatter of words and into the sounds of silence, here’s to you Simon and Garfunkel. Silence not only has its sounds but feel as well. When we get into that space beyond words where our living and pulsating bodies come together, touch takes over as its unique vocabulary awakens. Its words are not just in our fingers but in every fibre of our bodies, and they become clear to us only when we can calm the chatter in our minds long enough to let our bodies speak.

Our bodies know how to speak the language of Eros, and become fluent with surprisingly little practice. The vocabulary of Eros is inherent in all of us and transcends verbal language barriers. Even if it is a first time encounter, we quickly get to know the other person as we explore his terrain with our hands, lips, and body. Instinctively, we take note of all the different textures, smells, sounds, and tastes. The language of moans, body movements, and ripples of energy being released tell us multitudes about each other as we build pleasure for ourselves.

Eros is like a door into another dimension. For me, it opens most profoundly through silence and bridging the gap with another man through touch. Once we are in touch space, identities we have in the rational, word centered world lose their relevance. Gay, straight, bi, etc. seem to no longer matter, it is simply two of us journeying naked into each other’s body that makes sense. We are alive and electric with erotic energy guiding us into realms of wonder. This is the space of sacred intimacy that has been praised to the roof tops from the time we emerged out of the seas, and there was no doubt a submarine version of it in our even more distant past.

We were built to be erotic, to live erotic, to speak erotic. The vocabulary of Eros is within us if only we can let it breathe freely. For me, Eros also exits beyond touch. It’s there in Bach, Beethoven, Leonard Cohen, van Gogh, to name but a few. It’s an energy that bathes life in its lushness regardless of it being through touch, sound, taste, sight, or smell. Even though it is around touch that we have some of our harshest restrictions, Eros is a powerful force that is totally adept at inspiring us to say no to the limitations of taboos. Every time I engage with another man in intimate touch, I revel in the feelings of aliveness that we both have. Not only do we celebrate life as we enliven our energies towards orgasm, but equally profoundly in the post orgasmic glow that engulfs us as we linger in each other’s embrace.