I find myself wondering about conflicts between our erotic selves and the world of restrictions our minds have created to thwart our very natural desires. In some cases, the taboos are so strong they have succeeded in suppressing erotic needs. It’s funny how readily we see disharmony as not being a healthy situation, nor one we accept for most aspects of our lives. Yet, all too often we do not see the disharmonies we allow to negatively influence our erotic health.
In thinking about this disconnect, flashes of the recent horrific event in Orlando come to mind along with other incidents of far less violence, though nonetheless the result of conflicts between bodily needs and societal norms. At rare times in my Sacred Intimacy journeys, I have come across guys who were deeply troubled when their need for male touch met their sense of guilt and self-condemnation head on. They felt they had “given in” to their bodily desires by breaking taboos against man on man erotic touch. In such instances, I have felt helpless because of my inability to help them overcome the disharmony between their very natural bodily needs and their self-condemnation for not heeding the taboos so deeply imprinted in their psyches.
The body has its own language, and one of its tongues is eros. When given space to freely express itself, it speaks it well and with great fluidity. But, we need to allow ourselves to enter into this space, a place I often refer to as touch space. Given the pervasiveness and depth of taboos, even in this positive space we may never be able to completely rid ourselves of the traces that taboos leave. But in a Zen-like way, the more we say yes to eros the more these things lose their grip and in the process become background noise. It takes time to erase such deeply ingrained images as are taboos, but eventually they deflate into some kind of cultural dust swirling around the ground.
The body knows what is best for it, where it can live and breathe in a vital, energy enhancing way. It knows wherein truth lies. It knows too wherein many of us find sustenance and life. It really does not care about the taboos chattering away in our heads trying to control our desires. But it does know one of the most profound truths there is, that we neither control nor own the earth and the sources of energy that give each of us life. The body is trying to communicate its knowledge to us, if only we can but stop the chatter in our minds long enough to listen to and discover the wonders it has at hand.