Erotic Zen

For the past few days, I have been reading about Zen, something I know very little about. It struck me that there are similarities between the sense of oneness and healing that are experienced in Zen meditation and my practice of Sacred Intimacy. No doubt there are those far more enlightened in Zen who would frown on such a notion. Nevertheless, this fool will rush in where the enlightened angels fear to tread.

Being present, at one with oneself and the cosmos, feeling a sense of harmony, of stillness, and of wholeness are ideas common to many spiritual practices. Various traditions have evolved methods for attaining these states such as prayer, meditation, sitting, mindful walking, and so on. All seem to have the goal of calming our chatty minds so that we can step outside our egos to experience something beyond description.

Admittedly, Zen is a solo practice even when done in the midst of others, whereas Sacred Intimacy is about two people entering into an erotic journey together. During my own travels into the erotic, I like to take my time by beginning with us fully clothed and moving gradually into our naked selves. Connection starts with touching each other’s hearts, looking into each other’s eyes, syncing our breaths. What follows is guided by intuition as our minds grow calm and our egos slip away. Already notions that define us become irrelevant, our identities become unimportant. These journeys are about opening ourselves up to our partners by entering a non-verbal world where touch takes over from seeing. Erotic space guides our bodies and shows us into the magic realm. It knows were to go, all we need do is to open our hearts and follow it.

Perhaps the feelings of oneness and healing that are in the afterglow following orgasm are similar to those the Zen masters have written about. I suspect they are because through an erotic journey we have stepped outside of things thad divide us, set us apart from each other, and perhaps that even set us apart from our selves. Basking in the trancelike state that follows orgasm, my mind is usually at its most perceptive and peaceful. Not only have I benefitted from the build up and release of energy in my own orgasm but in that of my co-journeyer as well. With our bodies deeply connected, there is no more powerful experience than feeling the surge of each others orgasms. Equally as powerful is the sensation of our energies nourishing each other as we lie together in our post orgasmic trance.

Maybe this is not what Zen masters would think of as having reached an enlightened state, a Zen state, but when I read their descriptions about being in a state of wholeness and healing these are the experiences from my life that come to the surface and beckon me to practice, practice, practice…


6 thoughts on “Erotic Zen

  1. Fascinating! Interesting blending of the two practices. The best way to connect with anything, or anyone, is through being present. Being in a room with someone does not mean you are there. But engaging with someone by noticing, paying attention, and being present is one of the most intense and beautiful acts there is. This practice can also be brought to any activity: walking, reading, cooking: which is why Zen practitioners are fond of saying “chop carrots.” Even that simple act can transcend the mundane when done fully present. How marvelous to be able to engage in sacred sexuality and intimacy with someone who present with you. I hope you will keep reading and learning about Zen and share all your discoveries with us. This is my new favorite post from you. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know my feelings in the matter and they are wholly in step with yours. For whatever misguided reasons many religions, one huge and very powerful one in particular, have chosen to demonize sex but for its ability to add to the overpopulation of a planet sorely stressed and not in need of hordes of new people.

    Hot and fast sex can be exciting, even a thrill, but I far prefer slower more communicative sex, with each of us concentrating on exploring what pleasures the other most — and then giving it to him and accepting it from him in a totally mutual ceremony of male eroticism. I think that there is an art in accepting a man’s sexual attentions, that letting him know he is giving me what I want and need in the most exciting and satisfying way is a powerful affirmation of his masculinity. Gays have been insulted and demonized as not being “real” men, for being effeminate. But I think there’s no man more masculine than one who can totally satisfy another man.

    Liked by 2 people

    • How right you are! I’m glad you brought up the problem of sex being demonized, it is tragic that so many are crushed by institutions of power under the guise of being guardians of love and salvation. What you say about male eroticism affirms our goodness and masculinity as gay men. Thanks!


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