Edge of Wetness

Images of moisture have been surrounding me. Over the weekend, I was strolling the streets of misty Vienna, taking a short break from rainy and misty Berlin. In my wanderings, I visited the Hundertwasser Museum, water water everywhere. While listening to a recording of him describing his experiences in painting, images of my journeys in Sacred Intimacy and touch came to mind. Painting took him out of this world, beyond its judgments and limitations and into a dream world in which imagination flourished.

As voyagers in Sacred Intimacy, we too journey into a dream space, into a realm beyond time and things separating us, beyond society’s judgmental and restrictive eye, into a place where we are free to be creative and wet in the most profound of ways.

Wetness is one of Eros’s trail markers, it shows us the way in. At first touch, our bodies are dry, our kisses maybe only damp. Progressing deeper into touch space, our building energy leaves more traces of wetness, trickles of pre-cum ebb and flow, and our excitement builds as we ride the edge of wetness prolonging its final eruption for as long as possible. All the while, we are in a kind of forgetfulness freeing us from time and space. It is an erotic dream space, a realm in which we feel the full powers of rejuvenation culminating with our cocks exploding in wet celebration.

Like Hundertwasser’s experience of forgetfulness in the dream space that was the wellspring for his paintings, I feel much the same with journeys into touch space. It is like drinking from the waters of the River Lethe in Greek mythology. Only by drinking of the waters of forgetfulness, of oblivion, are we cleansed to be reborn.

I think the Greeks were onto something here. The world places more than enough obstacles in the various pathways of erotic life, and especially for those of us who vibrate to homoerotic pulses. It is all the more important for us to wash away this negativity, to enter oblivion, and to feel the nourishment of rebirth. It all begins with the simple act of stripping and touching, from there the wetness trickles into a flood from which we emerge newly energized, and thus newly whole.

For Hundertwasser, a painting was a record of his journey into forgetfulness. For me, it is the glowing traces left in my moisture laden body from the experience.

Erotic Zen

For the past few days, I have been reading about Zen, something I know very little about. It struck me that there are similarities between the sense of oneness and healing that are experienced in Zen meditation and my practice of Sacred Intimacy. No doubt there are those far more enlightened in Zen who would frown on such a notion. Nevertheless, this fool will rush in where the enlightened angels fear to tread.

Being present, at one with oneself and the cosmos, feeling a sense of harmony, of stillness, and of wholeness are ideas common to many spiritual practices. Various traditions have evolved methods for attaining these states such as prayer, meditation, sitting, mindful walking, and so on. All seem to have the goal of calming our chatty minds so that we can step outside our egos to experience something beyond description.

Admittedly, Zen is a solo practice even when done in the midst of others, whereas Sacred Intimacy is about two people entering into an erotic journey together. During my own travels into the erotic, I like to take my time by beginning with us fully clothed and moving gradually into our naked selves. Connection starts with touching each other’s hearts, looking into each other’s eyes, syncing our breaths. What follows is guided by intuition as our minds grow calm and our egos slip away. Already notions that define us become irrelevant, our identities become unimportant. These journeys are about opening ourselves up to our partners by entering a non-verbal world where touch takes over from seeing. Erotic space guides our bodies and shows us into the magic realm. It knows were to go, all we need do is to open our hearts and follow it.

Perhaps the feelings of oneness and healing that are in the afterglow following orgasm are similar to those the Zen masters have written about. I suspect they are because through an erotic journey we have stepped outside of things that divide us, set us apart from each other, and perhaps that even set us apart from our selves. Basking in the trancelike state that follows orgasm, my mind is usually at its most perceptive and peaceful. Not only have I benefitted from the build up and release of energy in my own orgasm but in that of my co-journeyer as well. With our bodies deeply connected, there is no more powerful experience than feeling the surge of each others orgasms. Equally as powerful is the sensation of our energies nourishing each other as we lie together in our post orgasmic trance.

Maybe this is not what Zen masters would think of as having reached an enlightened state, a Zen state, but when I read their descriptions about being in a state of wholeness and healing these are the experiences from my life that come to the surface and beckon me to practice, practice, practice…


Wet Dream – For Two

What a great gift nature bestows on men, wild erotic dreams culminating in an eruption of man milk covering you and your sheets in a gooey glow. Life is good! I was thinking about how much like a dream state, and a wet one at that, the erotic journeys I write about in these posts are.

My journeys begin with my fellow explorer and me stripping each other as we move into touch space. Just recently, I was thinking about this transition and how similar it is to sleep and the ways in which our bodies descend through various stages into the magic of a dream world. In the world of touch space, we also enter into a kind of magical dreamlike world, one that takes us beyond the limitations of clothing and the judgmental eye – beyond the world of taboos to a space where we can revel in the joys of eros.

In erotic touch space, we discover worlds that seem to lie dormant in our psyches waiting for us to enter. At the right moment, somehow we know where to go and how to get there. Another type of dream space comes to mind, the kind brought to life through the song lines of the aboriginal peoples of Australia. As they wander the outback, they hardly have need for maps as we think of them. As they sing a certain sequence of songs, their geography unfolds before them. Their maps tell stories, and through them they relive the truths of their existence.

Journeying in the touch world is not all that different. In touch space, we enter a world that has its own geography, to which we each have a map and our own unique stories. All are outside the  rational guideposts and boundaries of our conscious world.

In my experience with various co-journeyers, our explorations unfold mutually with little to no verbal communication. Every journey is unique regardless of the number of times I have travelled with a particular partner. Just as no two dreams are the same, so too with erotic journeys. In our co-venture through the geography of eros, our fantasies are different but we share touch at the deepest levels. Our wet dream world is a space where we intimately connect with someone, share a deeply erotic experience, and give each other the gift of wetness. When I am basking in the afterglow of orgasm with a co-journeyer, the feeling I have is of the deepest connection with this person and of a profound gratefulness for having shared a journey that not only brought us together but of doing so in a way that sets us free.



Intimacy…Practice, Practice, Practice

Intimacy can refer to everything from a casual sexual encounter to a long lasting marriage. There are probably as many shades of intimacy as there are people, but a common thread is the sense of opening ourselves up to another.

For me, intimacy is also a practice, and one that is touch centered. In much the same way as playing the piano, or writing, or going to a fitness center, it’s an activity for which I set aside a space and time. There are people with whom I share the practice, and we structure this by setting aside a time and space with the intention of sharing an intimate and erotic journey.

At the beginning of each session, we consciously transition from the familiar world dominated by talk to the world of touch. As we shed ourselves of clothing, the silent ways of skin on skin communication take over. Touch has a knowledge that goes deeper than rationality, and one that can open profound vistas if we can but let it happen.

Invariably in the course of each journey, there is some sensation, some area of our bodies that opens itself up to us, and that somehow seems new and unexplored. In some magical way, this happens not only with more recent partners but with ones I have had an intimate practice of many years with. This points up a benefit of a long-term practice,  that it is possible to break through inhibitions so that you and your partner can have the freedom to flow  with each other’s energy and to discover new areas. It is very much like the insights I often have when interpreting a piece of music that has been a part of my life for many years – new voices appear, inner rhythms I had not seen, new dimensions. It has everything to do with being able to look into the other, regardless of how familiar, and to open up our senses so that we can explore with new eyes, fingers, and whatever else comes into play.

Sometimes the things in life that appear to be the most effortless require the greatest amount of work. The great musicians, artists, sports players, to highlight only a few, give the impression that their craft simply falls to them with ease. For the most part, this is anything but true, they work at it. So too with the practice of intimacy. Every time we cast off a veil that blocks something in us or in those we practice with, the horizon changes, and we reach new levels. The energy we feel in our bodies is more alive. When it flows freely, we discover new and invigorating ways to express ourselves. Yes, practice does make for perfection, and fortunately for us there is always something needing work.



Body Fur

It’s not by accident that body fur has survived the relentless hand of evolution. It’s sexy to look look at and fun to play with, whether it be yours or your parter’s. One of the most sensual things about body fur are all those millions of little pleasure projectiles bursting up from the skin all over the body. This has to be nature’s way of extending to the max the number of body surfaces that can conduct pleasure signals to the brain.

Nature loves pleasure and evolved us, I am sure, to be pleasure creatures. Think of body fur as a natural super conductor for pleasure. As you mull this over, consider how your hairs stand on end in reaction to various stimuli, especially those first moments of touching someone who turns you on, even if in that moment you are only just barely grazing against him.

For me, there is nothing more sensual than giving and receiving feather light touch. In the furry areas, the pleasure gets even better as you and your partner gently glide over each other. Let your lips, hands, and body softly move over him. As you caress his pubes, chest, arm pits, or wherever, feel your reactions as the pleasure of it all ripples through both of your bodies. Then, revel in the delight of his fur softly stimulating your body as he reciprocates. All those millions of edges that fur gives us are like tiny fingers being activated by gentle stroking motions. It’s the same as being touched by millions of little hands.

Fur also works like a sensual lubricant lending a nice soft layer as two bodies rub against and over each other. Too much grooming, however, can turn your luscious silken fur into a kind of velcro surface. Stubble certainly does not lend itself to glide, and it can really tear your lips apart – not in a good way either.

Personally, I love a guy whose natural sweater covers his back as well, no matter where you grab him, or which way you flip, there is always pleasure at hand! If there is a moral to this story, it has to be don’t screw up the good things that nature has given us with too much shaving. Trimming things up a bit can be a sexy way to groom your body, but don’t go bonkers. Fur is fun, and we should enjoy playing with it as much as possible.

Blow Job

One of the myths I’ve lived by is that evolution produced us gay men to rescue the blow job from mediocrity and to raise it to the pantheon of mind numbing erotic experiences. In my teen-age years, I was filled with wonder at my new found pleasures in them. I am reminded of a joke popular among us lads at the time that had something to do with a chamber maid overhearing newlyweds in the bridal suite and the man crying out, suck Susie suck, blow is just a figure of speech. Humor does bring out some aspects of reality that we are hesitant to speak more directly about, and Susie’s naiveté perhaps was fairly prevalent at the time, maybe still is though I hope not.

For my money, fellatio is one of the most sublime experiences a guy can have whether it be as an active or passive partner, both of which I find equally satisfying. Even though I have interacted with guys who are hesitant to take on the active role, one-sided exchanges have not lessened these experiences at all. This is one erotic activity that I do not mind in the least having no reciprocation. To my way of thinking, fellatio is one of the greatest gifts we can give our buddies, and while a 69 is an absolutely fantastic way to share pleasure I have not found reciprocation to be absolutely necessary for a rewarding erotic journey.

If you are the active sort, take your time, go slowly. While you are pleasuring your buddy’s cock with your mouth, add a little titillation by gently stroking and caressing his sack with your fingers, especially the back part where it connects to the perineum – lightly scratching this area with your fingernails can send sensations of pleasure through him. Take your time to let your tongue explore his sack, and to tickle his groin where thighs and pelvis meet. There is no hurry, enjoy his reactions, listen to his sighs and groans as you send ripples of ecstasy through him.

One of the benefits of receiving a blow job is that it gives a guy the opportunity to be passive so that he can explore his feminine side, which we usually associate with being penetrated. But if passive anal sex is not your thing, here is yet another way. Lie back, let your buddy suck, blow, and lick away at the family jewels. Let him do the driving while you enjoy the sights. Obviously, if you like taking an active role as well, I am sure a 69 is always welcomed. As you delve into the wonderland that is fellatio, think of what poor Susie lost out on by puffing away at it as if it were a candle on a birthday cake!

Happy Endings

The notion of a happy ending has always seemed silly to me. It has regularly come up as a question from someone new I was to trade massage with. Fair enough, good to know where the limits are. For me, however, orgasm is simply a natural and integral part of erotic body work, a part of a larger experience. Being in touch with my body and its erotic energy has always been something I have wanted to explore with other men. Taking the time to linger in erotic touch space opens doors for discovering a rich variety of sensations waiting to be unlocked. If you think about it, we spend far less time in touch space than in any other dimension of life. So why not savour the lush goodies of the entire experience?

We are a funny species, one that is capable of inflicting incredibly stupid things on ourselves. For example, robbing ourselves of one of the most profound and joyful experiences that is literally at our fingertips, orgasm. Nature knows what it likes, and maybe that is why erotic pleasure survived the vicissitudes of evolution. Yet, we humans have managed to erect fences around this life affirming force. Just as the flow of a river cannot be completely thwarted by a dam, so too does erotic energy find its way through all the taboos to eventually explode forth from our loins. Still, the suffering so many endure in the process is beyond unnecessary.

It would be nice to think that humankind is coming to its senses and is on the verge of a new ethos. With a planet lumbering under the weight of massive over population, it would be a good idea to reward activities that spread love but do not produce children. To my way of thinking, this has Eros written all over it. Eros is about love, we are programmed for it, and erotic love is much more than romance, marriage, and children. It is about sharing ourselves with others, and sharing ourselves through the most sexual of ways.

Embracing Eros means we have to confront the mongers of shame, cast them off, and open ourselves to the serendipitous experiences that happen when we enter touch space. And why not? As sexual creatures, we deserve much more than the endings to be happy. Opening ourselves to our touch bodies is good for our physical and spiritual health. Erotic journeys take us beyond words and into the most elemental areas of life. As we travel beyond the limitations of our bodies, we connect not only with someone else but with a vital energy that is the rhythm of life itself. This is what nature made us for. Why else would we feel such ecstasy, such bliss? The experience is of a happy everything, and this keeps nurturing us well past the ending.